I resonate strongly with the Anais Nin quote “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” It captures the buttoned-up, trying-to-hold-it-together pain I was in, and the toll that was taking on my life. And also how a more joyful me was always there, waiting to be allowed to live, and acknowledges the bravery it took to let myself open to me.
I identify as gender-fluid, non-monogamous, queer and kinky. I was AFAB and use all pronouns.
I welcome people in all bodies, of all genders, all sexual orientations, adopting all relationship styles.
I welcome people in all bodies, of all genders, all sexual orientations, adopting all relationship styles.
Where we begin
Hi, I’m Jules. With me as your companion we can explore the areas in your life where you want to see change.
If I have an aim, then it is to help you reconnect and foster, or deepen, a love and understanding for yourself that may have absent since childhood, and even before you can remember – find Nietzsche’s life-affirming “sacred Yes”. Today your sacred Yes can be at any scale, the small victories accumulate over time, and all are worthy of celebration.
Training & Experience (past and present)
Institute of Somatic Sexology (ISS)
– ‘Certificate in Embodied Counselling’, 2023;
London School of Clinical Communication and Hypnosis (LSCCH)
– ‘EMDR & Psychological Trauma professional training’, 2022;
Dr Sue Johnson
– ‘Emotionally Focused Therapy – Attachment Science in Practice’, 2022;
Artemisia de Vine – monthly Zoom discussion through the ‘DeVinery’, 2021-2022;
Dr Dan Siegel (MD)
– ‘The Mindsight Approach to Well-Being: A Comprehensive Course in Interpersonal Neurobiology’, 2021
iLS / Dr Stephen Porges (MD)
– ‘Safe & Sound Protocol Practitioner Training’, 2021;
Liz Scarfe from Melbourne Processwork Centre
– ‘Trauma Informed Facilitation’, 2021;
ACU Bachelor of Nursing (1st year), discontinued course;
-Motivational Interviewing (MI), 2020;
Barbara Carrellas
– ‘Urban Tantra Professional Training’, 2019;
Knightlamp
– Trauma informed practice, 2019;
Max and Ellen Schupbach
– Deep Democracy aka ‘World Work’, 2018 in Bangkok – a fascinating and dynamic approach to resolving conflict, both internal and global, underpinned by the work of Arnold Mindell and Process Orientated Psychology;
Dr Betty Martin
– ‘Like a Pro’, The Wheel of Consent training Professionals, 2018;
Anne-O-Nomis
– The Art of FemDom, 2019;
– The Seven Realm Arts of the Dominatrix, 2018.
Kenneth Ray Stubbs
– The Path of the Sexual Shaman, Shamanic training, 2017 – present;
The Institute of Somatic Sexology
– Certificate in Somatic Sex Education, 2017;
– An Introduction to Embodied Counselling, 2016;
– Certificate in Sexological Bodywork, 2016.
Deej Juventin
– An Introduction to Embodied Counselling, 2016;
OzKinkFest
– training with world renowned professionals including Mistress Tokya, Mistress Electra Amore, and others, 2016-present.
Curious Creatures
– Kink, Communication and Sexuality workshops, 2014-present.
I am committed to my own professional development and ensure I receive regular supervision with senior therapists, as well as meeting weekly with a select group of motivated peers. I also attend group supervision sporadically with Betty Martin’s ‘Like a Pro’ graduates and iLs Safe and Sound Practitioners. These activities far exceed the requirements for my professional affiliation with the Somatic Sex Educators Association of Australasia.
I have taken an active role in reducing stigma and discrimination by participating in the ongoing consultation with Vic Government to decriminalise sex work, which saw success in 2022 and initial changes to legislation were made in May 2022!
I served on the committee for the SSEAA from 2016-2018.
A truly sex / kink positive therapist
I embody this philosophy to my core. My work as a professional Dominatrix and FSSW has given me the exposure to a vast array of human sexual desire, and the chance to truly connect with folx whose interests did not directly align with my own, as well as accept as pretty commonplace the more ‘perverse’ sexual fantasies people have. I have become entrenched in a culture of acceptance and curiosity about all consensual sexy and / or kinky play, and it is fascinating and beautiful and such a privilege!
I came to sex work needing a change from the grind, looking for my voice, looking for a tool to teach me how to set boundaries. What I found was a world where I could make my own rules, that gave me time to do my own therapy and integrate what I was learning, I got to study, and to take on childcare roles I would never have had time for in most other jobs. Sex work for any reason is valid.
It wasn’t always easy for me
I have been interested in BDSM for as long as I can remember, devouring the fantasies related in Nancy Friday’s ‘Secret Garden’, when I discovered them at around age 11. But it often felt as if everyone else was having mind-blowing sex*, and there was something wrong with me. One significant aspect that led me to the sex industry was that I wanted to make this my life, with no where to hide, to find those things I so desired; comfort and self-acceptance, to find out what was possible in this life. It took a huge amount of courage and determination for me to keep returning to illuminate my desire, re-examine interests and ‘shameful’ secrets. And I’m still learning.
*when I use the word sex these days, I do not assume that this involves any genitals, and certainly don’t assume that there is any penetration involved, although of course there can be. I use sex to mean any activity that engages with the sexual or sensual self, be that fantasy, BDSM play, group, partnered, or solo play.
My Story
My ability to hold space and be useful to you, is underpinned by my ability to care of myself. By doing so I can bring genuine presence to the time we have together. I like to come to each session in ‘a beginner’s mind’, ready and open to what you bring, without the baggage of my lens.
How do I do this? Well, I need to work on myself. This is the ongoing work of self-reflection, therapy and practices that serve my health and mental well-being.
I came to therapy in 2013 with a 15 year long binge drinking habit; frequent, uncontrollable emotional outbursts, and a lot of tears, especially around speaking about sex.
There was also suppressed rage (I didn’t connect with it this then);
…there was anxiety (I didn’t identify that then);
…and repressed trauma (I didn’t remember it then).
What I knew was that I hadn’t stayed put (in a place, a job, a relationship) for more than 2 years since I’d left home. I’d made a commitment to myself to stay put this time, and I liked what I was building. Now, two years in, having exploded upon my boss over who knows what (then), I knew I had to stay still (while recognising the growing itch to take flight again).
I was fit to burst.
I just couldn’t go on living this way any more. So I began.
With Barbara Carrellas at the end of the 6 day Urban Tantra Professional Training in 2019.
With Deej and Uma of the ISS at the end of the 14-day intensive module of the Certificate in Sexological Bodywork in 2016.
I have learned that
- I am not defined by the my past, but it can influence my present, cultivating awareness is my strongest tool to stay present to this.
- Lasting change is not a liner journey – two steps forward one step back is a generous approximation, in my experience.
- I had a ‘good childhood’, and it still felt very painful ‘to be me’.
- Acknowledging my pain is important, as is becoming a parent to myself.
- Sometimes it all feels so damned hard, and painful, and sluggish, and slow, but I’ve never doubted it needed to be done.
- Being able to celebrate myself for my work and commitment to my own self-development.
I have learned these things in therapy, in relationship with friends, lovers and children, in community, in work, from peers and teachers and clients, and most importantly, by listening to the truth in my own body.
My personal developmental journey includes:
I have received personal sessional therapy (over 200 hours) including:
Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT); Intense short-term dynamic psychotherapy (ISTDP); Alcohol and drug therapy (AOD); Gestalt therapy; Embodied Counselling (EC); Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping; Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP);
Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR); Somatic Experiencing (SE).
In addition to these, if you were, “official” therapeutic hours I have also explored and found useful (this list is not exhaustive!):
Transcendental meditation (TM); Yoga (Knoff school which is a type of Hatha yoga); Mindfulness meditation; Vipassana; Wim Hof Method; Rebirthing breathwork; Byron Katie’s ‘The Work’; Matt Kahn’s Whatever Arises, Love that; Orgasmic Yoga guided classes; Wheel of Awareness meditation; Breathwork (various guided journeys); The Wheel of Consent™ practices; Lovingkindness meditation; Urban Tantra™ practices; Cold water therapy; Psychedelic micro & macro-dosing…
And I have tried and tested a billion hacks (well, almost) for anxiety!!
Prior to taking a direction toward self-development and healing, I graduated with a Fine Art bachelors from the University of Oxford, taught in a London Secondary School, then went on to become an Arborist before migrating to Australia where I set up and ran my own business, became the Women’s Australian Tree Climbing Champion competed twice in the International Tree Climbing Competitions.
These days when I’m not working, I am dedicating most my attention, in collaboration with another adult, to my blended family that comprises of three children and three cats.
