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Many times I’ve heard something like, “I can’t meditate,” or, “when I try, I just can’t stop the thoughts from coming up.” I can relate. Before I understood that the purpose of meditation is the act of intending to do it, and before I could be kind to myself in the face of frustration and perceived incompetence, I felt like I couldn’t either. In her book First, We Make the Beast Beautiful, Sarah Wilson opens with an anecdote about the time she was offered the chance to ask th

I need to talk about something. I should preface this by saying that I’m a huge optimist. I believe love will prevail over hate. I believe in the basic humanity of people as a whole. I believe technology and innovation will help us meet the great problems of our time: climate change, food insecurity, energy shortages. Sometimes I say I believe, because belief itself creates a kind of spaciousness in my life, which leaves me enough room to help create the conditions for those

Person-centred care means working with what is present in the person in front of us, not what we think they should be. As therapists, counsellors, or coaches, when we work with people who share traits with us, or who have lived through experiences similar to our own, we need to be especially careful to notice where assumptions or biases may arise. My approach is process-oriented, which means the work itself is about being with what is. We keep returning to beginner’s mind and

A script is a culturally informed and widely shared belief, often unspoken, that shapes accepted behaviour and norms. A sexual script, then, is the shared idea that sexual intimacy follows a specific sequence of events or should look a certain way. Sexual scripts have shifted over time, evolving alongside movements toward greater equality, beginning (in recent history) with early feminism and continuing into the information-saturated age we live in today. I remember pouring o

As a student of somatic sexology, I was taught that premature ejaculation (PE) was the most common issue younger men* would seek help for. At the older end of the spectrum, I was told to expect more clients experiencing erectile difficulty (ED) or struggling to achieve orgasm. That was over a decade ago, and at the time, it felt accurate. More recently, though, I’ve noticed an uptick in men presenting with difficulty either maintaining an erection or ejaculating, and at the m